A bridal shower is actually a party held for the bride-to-be a few weeks before her wedding.  Originated in the 1890s, it is now most common in the United States, Canada, and Australia.

The custom is to provide goods and assistance to make sure the wedding will take place.

The history probably comes from earlier dowry practices, like when a poor woman’s family might not have the money to provide a dowry for her, or when a father refused to give his daughter her dowry because he did not approve of the marriage. In these situations, friends of the woman would gather together and bring gifts.  These would compensate for the dowry and allow her to marry.

The earliest stories about these events are rumored to originate in Belgium around 1860.

A related custom practiced in medieval England was the Bride Ale; in Langland’s Piers Plowman there is a reference to a bruydale. This was a feast held before the wedding day, at which the bride made beer and sold it to the guests at a high price.

In the United States, bridal showers were in urban areas in the 1890s, mainly among the upper middle classes. By the 1930s, bridal showers had spread to rural America.

This was printed in the Grand Rapids Michigan Evening Press 22 June 4, 1904: “The ‘shower parties’ that through mistaken hospitality the wedded couple are forced to attend…” Rumors have it that it was derived from the custom in Victorian times where the presents were put inside a parasol, which when opened would “shower” the bride-to-be with gifts, hence a bridal shower.

There have been some significant changes along the way. An etiquette guide from the 1920s suggested showers should be “purely spontaneous and informal,” with guests arriving unannounced at the bride-to-be’s home. However, a planning guide from the 1950s suggests more complex themes and games.

Traditionally, hosting the bridal shower falls to one or more close friends of the bride, and quite often it is one or more of the bridesmaids. Mothers and other close family members should not host bridal showers.  Some feel that would be rude and/or greedy for the family to ask for gifts.

Instead, close family members and future in-laws who wish to celebrate the upcoming wedding may host a bridesmaids’ luncheon, engagement announcement party, or other non-gift-oriented party.

A bridal shower is usually a joy for all when it is planned in a way that makes it fun for everyone. Here are some areas that can be expounded upon to make it more enjoyable:

Bridal shower invitations, games, favors, themes, cakes, decorations, etiquette hints, centerpieces, and menu.